UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-MADISON ARCHIVES
ORAL HISTORY PROGRAM

Interview #1001
HYSLOP, CRYSTAL

HYSLOP, Crystal (1952-)
Relationship with UW: resident in Madison since the late 1970s

Interviewed: 	2009 (2 sessions) 
Interviewer: 	Linda Lenzke
Index by: 	Kelly Rupp
Length: 	2 hours, 8 minutes
Series: 	Madison’s LGBT Community, 1960s to present

Abstract: In her 2009 interview with Linda Lenzke, Crystal Hyslop details her life in Madison. She discusses the time period between the 1970s and time of the interview, touching on the following topics: lesbianism, feminism, parenting, and community outreach. This interview was conducted for inclusion into the UW-Madison Oral History project on Madison’s LGBT Community, 1960s-Present. 

Key Words: Madison (WI), feminism; Lesbian Parent Network, Madison Institute for Social Legislation, Alternative Family Ordinance, GLADE, GLISTEN, Action Wisconsin, Lysistrata, Equal Rights Amendment. 

First Interview Session (June 9, 2009): Digital File

Time	Keywords
00:00:00	Start of Interview/Interviewer’s Introduction

00:00:27	Question: Background? Answer:  Hyslop was born in Port Huron, Michigan, near Canada. She was the oldest of three children. Her father was a blue collar worker and alcoholic. Her mom stayed at home. Hyslop took care of her sisters. Her father passed away in 1993. Hyslop felt different as a kid. She was a tomboy and played with boys. In high school, she did not date and didn’t want to. When she came out, her parents did not accept her homosexuality. 

00:05:20	[no question] Hyslop met her eventual husband while in college at Western Michigan University. He was Hispanic; which was an issue for her conservative parents. Shortly after graduation, Hyslop became pregnant. She decided to keep the child and married. Her husband worked a lot and she felt like a single mom. She became pregnant again in 1978 and was frustrated in her marriage.

00:08:34	Question: What brought you to Madison? Answer:  Hyslop’s husband was transferred from Indiana to Milwaukee, then to Madison. In 1979 Hyslop attended a meeting at Lysistrata about the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA). There she met Janice, the meeting chair. She got a divorce and began accepting her feelings for women. She joined a softball team: Madison Coalition for the ERA. 

00:12:34	Question: How did you initiate discussions about divorce? Answer: Hyslop and her husband had discussions previously about their unhappy marriage. He was homophobic and had a temper. She didn’t want to provoke him and potentially lose her kids. He found a letter she wrote to Janice that started the divorce discussion. Hyslop’s kids were 5 and 1-1/2.

00:15:37	Question: Talk more about coming out? Answer: After separating from her husband, Hyslop was comfortable admitting to herself and others that she was a lesbian. During the day, Hyslop stayed with the kids. She worked the night shift and saw Janice afterwards. Until they could take possession of Janice’s home that she lived in with her partner, the new family slept in a tent in Janice’s backyard. 

00:19:19	[no question] Hyslop shared joint custody with her ex-husband. Her lawyer, Shelley Gaylord, had her husband sign an agreement that lesbianism would not be used as an argument for unfit parenting. Under today’s circumstances, Hyslop would have petitioned for full custody. She discussed with Janice that the kids would be part of their relationship and that they would always be out as lesbians. The kids always grew up with two lesbian moms. It was difficult, but the kids appreciated the honesty when they got older.

00:24:10	[no question] They did not come out to their families immediately. There was a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. No one mentioned it, but it was obvious Hyslop and Janice were in a relationship. They committed to going on the Sally Jesse Raphael show and knew they had to tell their parents formally. (They were eventually cut from the show.) There was mixed reactions among the parents and siblings. Hyslop’s father was not accepting and her mother was not happy about her being so public. Janice’s parents were not accepting.

00:31:19	Question: Life in Madison during this time? Answer: Lesbian Parent Network provided a safe place for the kids to play and the moms to discuss parenting children with two moms. Hyslop enjoyed watching the families in the group grow and develop. She and Janice parented the kids like a traditional mom and dad would, together.

00:38:45	[no question] In the mid-early 80s, Hyslop and Janice became involved in the schools their children attended. They discussed with teachers how their children should be treated. Teachers tried to talk with who they thought was the birth mother.

00:43:47	Question: Involvement in organizations that supported parents and school children? Answer: In 1983, the Madison Institute for Social Legislation tried to pass the Alternative Family Ordinance. It was a collaboration of liberal political leaders. It passed later in 1990. She also worked with The United. In 1985 she was a Girl Scout Leader. Families were uncomfortable with her at first but they got over it. In 1993 she helped form Gays, Lesbians and Allies for Diversity in Education (GLADE). They lobbied legislators and the schools for changes. GLISTEN replaced GLADE. GLISTEN, in 1996, had an exhibit at Hawthorne school. It was very controversial. In 2006, she helped arranged for a showing of a documentary about kids in the schools at the Barrymore Theater.

00:50:52	Question:  How did the girls react to your political involvement? Answer: When they were young, the kids didn’t know any better. When they were older, the kids were teased. One daughter told her peers stories so she did not have to discuss why she had two moms. As they aged, the children aligned with Hyslop and Janice.

00:58:20	[no question] The girls were not separatists. They stayed connected with their fathers. In their 30s, they were very tolerant and accepting of others. Growing up with two moms did not harm them. 

01:01:18	Question: What made your family and partnership succeed? Answer: Hyslop and Janice had typical relationship issues like any other couple. Associating with groups and like-minded people helped. They had their own roles in the relationship. The teenage years were rough. After the kids left, they had to work on the relationship. The community helped them to stay together. 

01:12:30	Question:  Work environment? Answer: Hyslop was always out at work. She was always true to herself. She studied to become a paralegal from Edgewood College. Legal Action was her first legal job, and then she worked at the Attorney General’s office. Being out was never an issue; it never threatened her jobs. 

01:19:17	Question:  Gay marriage? Answer: In 1997, Hyslop was on the Superintendent’s Advisory Council as a member of GLISTEN. She advocated for representation in the schools. This work led to the hiring of a gay/lesbian liaison for the school district. She helped developed a survey with questions for gay/lesbian kids. In 1997, Action Wisconsin worked on the gay marriage ban. Hyslop started to do one-week “AIDS Rides”.

01:24:21	In 2003, Hyslop worked with Action Wisconsin again as Treasurer. They raised money, got non-profit status, and hired an Executive Director. The gay marriage ban was crushing. It took a lot out of Hyslop. She became more out, and bought wedding rings and had commitment ceremonies. 

01:28:58	Hyslop was contemplating retirement. She didn’t have much time anymore for activism. She was still involved with issues but to a smaller extent. 

01:32:11	End of First Interview Session

Second Interview Session (June 16, 2009): Digital File

Time	Keywords
00:00:03	Start of Interview/Interviewer’s Introduction

00:00:58	Question:  What role did feminism play in your life?  Answer:  Feminism helped Hyslop and Janice stay together and raise children. Feminist topics were frequently talked about in the house. They were separatists, and trained the children to think that women could do anything. Hyslop desired to develop more social relationships with women, not just those based on politics.

00:07:03	Question:  Talk more about DOE Farm and the separatist movement. Answer:  DOE (Daughters of Earth) Farm was a safe space to be in during the late 70s, early 80s. It was a place to go with like-minded people to connect with nature. The kids were introduced to nature and developed respect for the land.

00:11:02	Question:  How did separatism affect your children?  Answer:  When the kids were young they did not notice the lack of boys around. They also spent time with their father. The kids learned how to be physically and mentally strong and to act through cooperation and consensus. This sometimes affected the children’s adult relationships with boyfriends.

00:15:21	[no question] The kids also developed strong friendships with women. Hyslop and Janice educated the kids about HIV, birth control, and having respect for their bodies. Hyslop’s relationship with her children was not always rosy. One child experimented with drugs and she had to intervene. They had struggles just like all other parents.

00:21:41	Question:  What are you looking forward to in retirement?  Answer:  Hyslop planned to retire in about three years and was looking forward to travelling across the United States and internationally. She intended to buy an RV and meet other women. She planned to eventually move into a lesbian retirement community. 

00:26:30	[no question]  Hyslop was hopeful for the future, including the legalization of same sex marriage. However she thought it may not necessarily be what the community needed. She was hopeful for respect and acknowledgement of her community. Hyslop planned to continue pushing for worldwide equality for women. 

00:29:41	Question:  What legal protection do you have in case gay marriage does not pass? Answer:  Their wills and power of attorneys for health care were in order. This was necessary not just in retirement and travel but for raising the children. 

00:36:10	End of Second Interview Session

End of Oral History #1001